"You want to play doctor?"
"If you want to play doctor, we'll play doctor. I love scapals and needles and stuff like that."
"No, I want to play sexy doctor."
"Will you wear the sexy vinyl nurse's costume?"

*two people exit to smoke*
*the non-smoker collapses, ROFL*

It's exchanges like that that keep me coming back to work. I love my job.